When my mom came to visit after Xander's birth she brought these awesome Turtle Bars. There is crust, a caramel layer, pecans and chocolate. Chris and I somehow made them last but eventually they were gone. Fortunately my mom promptly gave me the recipe. I've already made them twice. I had to because we shared them and I did not get my recommended dosage. So good I just melted into a happy puddle every time I had one.
I sent some along with Chris to work and waited for the compliments to pour in. When I sent in cake and cupcakes I got hordes of comments, but nothing this time. I guess because everyone had melted into happy puddles.
But this got me thinking about compliments and how I love to get them but don't take them very well. I'd like to think I've gotten better over time. In high school and college if I received a compliment I'd immediately point out how it wasn't true.
"Wow Hugs, your hair looks great today" "Ugh, I rolled out of bed and didn't have time to shower so it smells."
I think it's partially a self esteem issue (not enough) and a partially a humbleness issue (trying to hard to be). But it has been pointed out that I do this and I've realized that I don't like it when I give someone else a compliment and they immediately turn it into a negative. So I've tried to improve.
"Wow Hugs, this dinner tastes awesome" "Yeah it does, but I cooked the chicken a little too long."
Last week I introduced Xander to one of my neighbors growing up. She kept saying how adorable he is. And I would say "Thank you" and find myself about to add something, like about his infant acne. I realized that I don't want to say that about him. I don't want him growing up seeing me say thinks like that. So "Thank you" was all I said. It felt weird like there was a gaping hole after it that was supposed to be filled. But it's an improvement :) One step forward at a time.
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I feel the same way and while I've cut down on the "no, you're obviously a moron and just don't see why this is all wrong" response, I still feel the need to downplay.
With Katie, if someone tells us she's cute we usually respond "thank you, we certainly think so!" or "Thanks, we're pretty fond of her, too!" or something like that. Kind of deflects it a little and feels a little more normal than just "thank you" which always feels like "Thanks, I know."
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